Affordable Housing Disaster - A Dresser of Debauchery

I regret to inform everyone that conditions inside the dresser have continued to worsen.

As many of you know, after Baby Lamb and that sheep, Party Lamb, moved into the dresser, I generously provided them with housing because I am a benevolent future ruler of the Underworld.

Unfortunately, Giraffe immediately squandered this opportunity.

Despite currently being on house arrest, Giraffe somehow spends all day hanging out with Lemur and accomplishing absolutely nothing.

I don’t know how.

He’s not even allowed to leave.

Yet somehow nothing gets done.

Even worse, one of the dresser drawers has now been converted into a bar.

A BAR.

Inside a dresser.

Inside MY house.

Because apparently when most people are under house arrest they reflect on their life choices. Giraffe decided to open a drinking establishment.

The establishment appears to cater primarily to Giraffe, Lemur, and whoever else wanders in looking for poor decision-making and day drinking.

The condition of the dresser has suffered accordingly.

Trash.

Clutter.

Questionable smells.

The occasional suspicious noise.

At one point Party Lamb finally got fed up and the two had a massive fight.

As a completely unbiased and selfless individual, I encouraged Party Lamb to move on with her life and start a YouTube channel.

Now some people have suggested I only did this because I wanted Giraffe to stop wasting all his time dealing with relationship drama and start hanging out with me again.

Those people are correct.

Anyway, Party Lamb actually seemed like she might leave.

For one glorious moment, peace appeared possible.

Then Mother’s Day happened.

Giraffe showed up with flowers.

Flowers.

Not a job.

Not a plan.

Not personal growth.

Flowers.

And the sheep took him back. She's an idiot.

To absolutely nobody’s surprise, Giraffe has not changed.

Current status report:

Giraffe:

• Still on house arrest.
• Still day drinking.
• Still hanging out with Lemur.
• Still operating a dresser bar.
• Still convinced success is right around the corner.

Party Lamb:

• Still hopeful.
• Still a sheep.
• Still believes Giraffe is going to change.

Baby Lamb:

• Deserves better.

Lemur:

• Somehow involved in every bad decision.

Me:

• The only responsible person among the Plushies and I'm a Demon.

I will continue documenting events as they unfold, assuming the dresser doesn’t collapse into complete societal failure first.

— Emma Leviathan
Future Ruler of the Underworld
Lead Investigator of The Plushie Files
Definitely Not Lilith